Hau’oli la Hanau!

My birthday is fast approaching.  I have always viewed birthdays as a time to celebrate.  Perhaps in my 20s they were an excuse to celebrate.  This year, my birthday celebrations will be executed in a three-phased plan.

One week ago, nine days before my actual birthday, I flew to NYC one day early for a business trip.  Lucky for me, my boyfriend made quite a bit of effort to meet me in the city.  We booked a room in a fun and funky hotel, one of those modern rooms that has a magical keypad to control the climate and the lighting.  I liked the sparse furniture and clean white décor but the best part was the shower! It featured a rainforest shower head and a fancy bench inside the shower. Too bad I didn’t need to shave my legs, that would have been quite convenient. Our day was spent exploring Times Square, stopping in front of “The Late Show” studios, and strolling through Central Park like good tourists.  We enjoyed lovely Spring weather and a ton of laughs together.  The next morning, much to my delight, we went to Chelsea Market to grab a quick lunch and spent the afternoon walking the High Line.  I was surprised to such a variety of sculptures along the High Line.  Because of the nice weather, there were a lot of people up there.  We saw kids running around, parents pushing strollers, and young people drinking coffees.  The trees bloomed with colorful blossoms, the grass areas were such a bright green color, and the sky was clear with a few puffy clouds hanging high. This was a really nice way to enjoy the City.  We walked hand in hand, talking about everything and nothing, stopping to take obligatory selfies.  And when we stopped, I enjoyed hearing the variety of languages around us. I had been wanting to walk the High Line for years, since I had first heard of it’s existence, but my business trips to NYC rarely leave time for leisure activities, other than late night dinners or cocktails with friends.  Spending time with him felt like the best way to kick off my birthday celebrations.  We have a connection that doesn’t require external distractions to keep us entertained.  In fact, my favorite moments are the quiet ones together.  His brain fascinates me, his humor entertains me and his smile delights me, what more could I want?

When I returned to LA, my girlfriends had planned a fun three D evening to celebrate birthdays for two of us:  dinner, drinks and dancing.  Three of my girlfriends who I have known for over 30 years were involved in the planning.  I added six of my newer friends to the mix and away we went.  Dinner was delightful, we didn’t overindulge in food or drink but somehow, a man at a table nearby decided to purchase us a round or two of sake. After dinner, we deliberated about where to go first.  Apparently, there is a “club” nearby that I will call the One Hundred Club.  We heard they had dancing so we followed one of our friends there.  She took us to a dark doorway that looked like an elevator or a stainless steel refrigerator door.  There was a trail on the ground that led to a keypad with blue lights and she just started pushing buttons there.  Suddenly, the door was opened and we were ushered inside to a bar with TVs, a pool table, small booths, large booths, no dance floor and face to face with a group of sort of middle aged Caucasian men, staring at us.  Did I mention we were a group of nine ethnic women?  I might add, we are all extremely beautiful women.  My friends represented a multitude of Asian and Latin countries by ethnicity with a strong representation of Hawaiian born beauties.  We definitely turn heads when we go out but unknowingly walking into a “members only” club was quite an experience.  It is a cliché to mention the “record scratch” sound effect so let me say that we stopped everything in the club.  AA asked me what I wanted to drink a proceeded towards the bar when the adorable waitress with the Russian accent asked us, “Who is the member?”  My blue light button pushing friend responded by saying, “Yeah, so that is what I wanted to ask…”  The waitress walked away to speak to her manager to ask if we could order a drink and promptly returned to walk us back to the door.  Once we were all safely exited from the private speakeasy,  HO said, “Did we just get kicked OUT of a bar?  That has never happened to me.  This is a great night!”  Chatter ensued about the speak easy, the creepy clientele, the Russian waitress and just the strange vibe we all felt inside the private club.  Next stop, a restaurant/lounge that has dancing. 

The scene here was a typical beach city bar scene.  A few people were dressed in LA fashions, a few more were much more beach casual.  Faces were mostly young, 20somethings and 30somethings.  The music was loud and the drinks were strong.  What more could a birthday girl ask for as part of her celebration?  Someone handed me a shot of Patron, glasses clinked and I headed for the dance floor.  One of my favorite past times with MB has been to imitate people on the dance floor who just can’t seem to count to four.  That always produces minutes of entertainment.  MP enjoys working the sexy sexy dance moves up close and personal with random attractive people on the dance floor, gender be damned.  When there are no hot strangers near by, she will just choose one of us.

As the evening progressed, there were make-out sessions all around us, including a couple within our group.  We took over the dance floor, enjoyed participation with cute boys.  It was fun to sweat out the Patron shot with friends, for old times sake.  I hadn’t been dancing for about three years.  In fact, my closet had been rid of “clubbing” gear and replaced with corporate dinner attire.  I suppose I thought that my engagement and short-lived marriage meant no more fun, sweaty nights up in the club with the girls.  Actually, I decided I was over the meat market scene.  I really enjoy dancing with the girls but I am so over dealing with the pick-up lines and BS from men.  I need to start crashing wedding receptions, bar mitzvahs and quincineras so I continue to get my boogie on and celebrate.

My real birthday is on Tuesday.  Unfortunately, it is a work night so I have no expectations to go out with friends.  My daughter and I will either go get massages and have a quick dinner out or we will go to our favorite Italian restaurant for homemade and gelato.  Birthdays were always very important in my family. Big parties with lots of food like grilling rib eyes in the backyard, mom’s homemade lumpia and pancit in the kitchen, and a chocolate dobash or Paradise cake from King’s Hawaiian Bakery. This year, I am turning 44 and I feel like huge changes are on the horizon.  Perhaps I will change careers or move to a new company.  Whatever is to come, I know that my life is ripe for creating new happy memories and being filled with lots of love. 

The War Rages On… My Face

Today is Day Four after my IPL Photofacial. My face still has Oreo cookie patches all over my cheeks but it is starting to clear up. I also went back to work after being off for a week to spend Spring Break with my teen-aged daughter. Here is what my skin looked like this morning, I don’t think I look as scary as I did on Saturday.

Because I was going back to work today, I took extra time to blow dry and style my hair. One thing I will admit is that I have pretty hair. It’s jet black and very naturally shiny. People ask me what kind of products I use in my hair so I have to tell them that I just wash it with normal shampoo and let it air dry. I don’t usually take much time styling it because I’m a very low maintenance kind of woman in the morning. I’d rather spend an extra 15 minutes cooking a hot breakfast for my daughter, sleeping, or checking my Facebook page in bed than styling my hair. Of course, I was going to be in the office with patchy skin today so I blew my hair out and put on red lipstick. That’s usually a dead give away that I’m tired or feeling a little down, red lipstick is like camouflage to hide behind. Here is a selfie from my car this morning:

Today, my calendar was filled with conference calls and meetings. The sides of my cheeks are marked with Oreo cookie splotches. That made me very self-conscious as I walked around campus.

When I’m paddling, the areas that absorb the most sun exposure are the sides of my cheeks. Despite wearing a hat and heavy duty sunscreen, my cheeks have suffered the most exposure over the years. What makes it worse, when I’m at outrigger canoe practice, quite often my face is splashed with salt water from the ocean. No doubt my sunscreen is washed away, leaving my skin vulnerable to the sun’s damaging rays. This exposure is exponentially multiplied by the sun reflecting off the ocean.

I realized this fact when we were paddling out towards the eight minute pole at practice tonight. As per usual for a Spring evening, the ocean was choppy and temperamental. It felt as if our canoe was paddling through a washing machine. It was definitely not gentle cycle. Our ama popped up from time to time, threatening to throw us out and make the canoe huli (flip over). Between the rookie in front of me splashing water on me and the rough ocean conditions, I found my face doused with salt water for almost 90 minutes straight. My cheeks stung from the salt water, extra sensitive skin was just another side effect of the IPL Photofacial.

I do NOT recommend going out on the open ocean immediately after having an IPL Photofacial treatment.

This morning is Day Five and the Oreo cookie patches or coffee grounds are starting to flake off.

I felt like I looked horrible when I woke up. Thankfully, after I washed my face, my skin looked much better. What I noticed was that the skin beneath the Oreo cookie patches looks pink and new. But that also means I have small pink splotches on my cheeks. Hopefully those will blend back in to match the rest of my skin. What I am seeing in my forehead and the un-Oreo cookie patched part of my face is really glowing and healthy looking skin, thank goodness. It looks as bright as it does after I have had a spa facial plus a good night’s sleep.

Once I was out of the shower, I applied my make-up for work. The Oreo cookie patches were harder to cover today. The dead skin wanted to flake off of my face but I didn’t want to go to work without trying to cover it up. This is what I looked like before I left the house:

Wednesday morning aka Day Six.
The Oreo cookie patches are almost gone and I didn’t have to wear foundation or red lip camouflage today. Instead, I used a tinted moisturizer and one of my favorite NARS lip colors called, “Club Mix”. I discovered it when I was out to lunch with a colleague one day. Her lip color was a shimmery plum and it was just gorgeous to me. The color is from the Velvet Gloss Lip Pencil so it is a chubby glossy pencil and all kinds I gorgeous. Here are my before and after from rolling out of bed to walking into the office:

No vanity here, can you tell?

Now, I’m curious to see how my skin is going to look on Saturday, which will be one full week after my IPL Photofacial treatment. My thoughts regarding doing it again are doubtful. The money I spent could have gone into my Gino Vacation Fund for our Italy trip.  Also, the recovery time is longer than I had expected. However, the experience was not as traumatic to my face compared to when I did a Vi Peel. That is a very intense chemical peel that essentially made my entire face fall off in sheets.  I looked like a Walker who had been cooking inside of an abandoned vehicle in the hot Georgia sun.

Anyway, at the end of my workday, I noticed that my skin was peeling and very dry.  Ugh.  This is frustrating.  I lost the Oreo cookie splotches but gained pink patches and flaky skin.  This IPL Photofacial recovery time is no joke.

These last six days have given me an opportunity to figure out why I’m spending so much time and money to fight this war against aging.   A realization came to me that it may be about control.  Or trying to hang on to my looks as a way of controlling the aging process.  It isn’t logical.  I know can’t stop time but our society is geared towards valuing youth.

Pick up or download women’s magazines on health or beauty and there will be articles helping you to “Look Younger Longer” or to advising you to eat “Foods That Fight Aging”.  The message isn’t subtle, it says that looking young kicks ass on aging. I recently saw a quiz that helped the reader answer, “How Old Do You Look?” with younger scores being more highly valued.  These articles and quizzes were located just below a headline that read, “Beat The Clock.” Time keeps slipping through the hour glass of aging for us as we scramble to keep the sand from filling up.

I stated in part one of this blog that I feel 28.  That’s not entirely true. My body feels strong and healthy.  And luckily, my hobbies include dancing hula, paddling outrigger canoes, half marathons and Okinawan Shorin Ryu so I stay active.  I will admit that I love my red wine and wine tasting is also an interest of mine but I’ve been limiting my alcoholic intake lately.  If I open a bottle of wine at home, I always have two glasses when I drink, I tend to want to nosh on something yummy.  Red wine and Trader Joe’s Sea Salt & Turbinado Sugar Dark Chocolate Almonds are a killer combination. You get chocolate with a sprinkle of salt and a kiss of sugar. Mmm, it can bring out the best notes from some of my favorite wines. Other times I enjoy red wine with a spicy Gouda from Whole Foods Market. The cheese needs a cracker or other carb to sit on before I devour it. I think I am as addicted to the crunching sound as I am to the yummy snacks. My point is, if I drink wine, I tend to snack and if I snack while I drink, I may over snack. That is not good for my waistline or my skin. But I digress.

I had stated that I feel 28 years old, which is true as far as my body goes.  But my heart and my brain are a wise 43 almost 44 years old.  I finally understand what it means to feel romantic love.  Let me correct that, I finally understand what it means to feel mad, passionate, sappy, romantic love with a man who values my nerdiness as much as my intelligence and my 28 year old feeling body.  It took me a while to find him but he is definitely worth the wait.  And my 40-something year old brain realizes how short life really is.  I don’t worry about having stuff to keep up with the Joneses.  I’m not sure who the Joneses even are but I know that reference is appropriate.  And I stopped sweating the small stuff.  Financially, I am doing ok.  My mortgage and bills are paid on time and I know I can’t spend like a maniac.  But I also don’t feel like I need to shop for things to fill a void in my life.  The things that are most important to me aren’t things.  They don’t cost anything other than my time and attention.  My daughter makes me see the world with fresh eyes and she rescued me from being dragged down into a dungeon of despair and distrust.  I experienced more pain before I turned 25 than most people can imagine. Becoming a mother showed me how love heals everything.  And I already had incredible parents and siblings and family that I like to hang out with as much as I love them.  Some people don’t like their family members but I adore mine.  My house isn’t impeccably decorated nor do I have the latest flat screen TV and appliances but it is warm and welcoming.  Just ask my amazing friends.  Some of them are my age and older, some of them are in their 20s and 30s.  I bet some of them have tried Botox and photofacials, not that it matters to me.  Sometimes I am afraid of looking older and that fear drove me to try an IPL Photofacial.  I thought I was fighting a war against aging but I realized I was trying to defy the laws of nature and control it.  Instead of desperately holding on to my youth and spending hundreds of dollars to control the aging process, I think I am going to let go and live life all in.  I may have another treatment to hide the 11s between my eyebrows, if I start looking upset again.  But I haven’t enjoyed feeling like I need to hide my Oreo cookie patches on my face.  Living life all in, laughing loudly every day, and loving the people who mean the most to me is how I will win this war against aging, all while wearing 30+SPF sunscreen.

Growing Old, Not Getting Old. This is War.

Quite often I hear that I don’t look my age. I remember a time when I thought 40 sounded incredibly old. But today, as a working mother in Corporate America, I realize that 40 truly is the new 30, or perhaps even the new 28. Yes, 28 is how old I feel. This may be the result of having given birth to my daughter around that age. My life as a single woman in Los Angeles shifted dramatically after she was born. There were no more late nights in the clubs on Thursdays but rather I spent time eating really healthy, organizing my home and trying to figure out how I was going to raise a baby alone.

Today, I am facing my 44th birthday and my skin is slowly starting to show it. I’ve always been rather conscious of my skin care and sunscreen is extremely important to my daily routine. I’ve encouraged my teenaged daughter to start this habit as well because the sun seems to do more damage more quickly today. (No comments on the ozone layer or global warming included today.)

About seven or eight years ago, my teammate turned me onto microdermabrasion, a beauty treatment that feels like a cat aggressively licking your face to remove the top (aka dead) layer of skin. It uses finely ground diamonds that are basically sand blasted onto your skin. Microdermabrasian doesn’t tickle but it doesn’t really hurt either. What I liked about it most is that it doesn’t take long for your face to recover and look normal again. One or two days of feeling extra dry and voila! The challenge is to take the time to do them on a regular cycle. The microdermabrasion lady told me to get on a three-week cycle to clear up all the dull/pale skin cells to encourage the bright skin to come to the surface of my face. It worked beautifully but it was hard to make the time commitment. I started going every eight weeks. The other problem is that it is not an inexpensive procedure so I had to adjust my budget to fit it in to my spending.

I was in my late 30s and apparently, skin grows new cells slower as we age so it starts to appear less vibrant and clear. Because I’m an Asian Pacific Islander, my skin has more melanin and it produced brown spots on my face. There is probably a medical term for those brown spots but I’m typing on my iPhone 4S and am too lazy to look it up.

Today, as I approach my mid 40s, the medical spa where I go suggested that I consider a “consultation” to discuss a strategy to combat aging. This is war.

I have been going to Skin Savvy in Hermosa Beach, CA and the CEO/Founder (I will call her General Skin Savvy) is my go-to woman for guidance regarding skin care. She turned me on to medical grade skin care products that include an amazing moisturizer, various cleansers and excellent sunscreens for my active life style and very sensitive skin. They are worth the extra investment, as my eczema has completely cleared from my face. I trust her with my face and we are now going to forge an alliance in my war against aging.

General Skin Savvy laid out options that varied from chemical peels, Vi peels, Botox, laser facials, and microdermabrasion. Chemical peels seemed much too aggressive for my sensitive skin so I ruled that out. Botox scare me but I developed these “11s” between my eyebrows after my marriage dissolved last year and they made me look angry or tired all the time. So, we shot some Botox in between my eyebrows and voila! Bye-bye “11s”, they lost that battle. Pricey, I admit, but I like looking “refreshed” instead of “angry”. My good friend said, “You look…like something is slightly different. The same, but different.” I like looking the same. More rested but the same.

Unfortunately, my microdermabrasians were not the only recommended next step in this war. Because of my advancing age, the “solar lentigenes” (or “brown spots”) were becoming more evident on my face and General Skin Savvy suggested I try an IPL Intense Pulsed Light Photofacial at the beginning of summer and one at the end. Microderms or another kind of on-going exfoliation and/or a lightening cream would be a nice supplement to help keep the IPL treatment effective but they weren’t as aggressive in this battle against aging.

On a Friday morning in April, I went to the spa for my first IPL. The day before, I had spent the day out and about with my teenaged daughter. We took an early morning Catalina Express across the channel to Avalon, CA for a fun-filled day of eating and zip-lining. My face looked like this:

Not bad, but not completely clear of solar lentigenes, either.

My first combat instructions were to apply numbing cream 30 minutes before my appointment. Now, I have an extremely high tolerance for pain so I questioned the General whether I needed to use the cream or not. She assured me I did. And she was right.

After my skin was sufficiently numbed, I went into the treatment room. Unfortunately, the General was on leave so I was being treated by one of her Colonels who happened to be Filipina, like me. Her skin was flawless, no solar lentigenes to be seen. We discussed her experience with the IPL and what I should expect as my skin recovers. Day One, my face would feel hot and possibly swollen, similar to a bad sunburn. I was instructed to wait at least 90 minutes before applying an ice pack because my face was producing new collagen. Apparently, the heat was a good thing. The a Colonel cautioned me that there would be brown patchy areas on my skin, where the sun damage was worst.

Day Two my skin would look like it had Oreo cookie patches all over it. There would be no scratching or peeling done or that would cause permanent scarring on my face. Gross. But I could go out wearing a hat and sunscreen that was SPF50, no less than SPF30, which I already wear every day.

Day Three would be more of the same but I would be able to cover the Oreo cookie patches with foundation. Liberal use of moisturizer was highly encouraged.

All right, I understood what I was getting into and laid back on the treatment table. The Colonel placed tiny protective goggles on my eyes and pulled back my hair away from my house. She proceeded to zap my forehead and cheek as test areas. She warned me that it would feel like a snap of a tiny rubber band in some areas and the hardest part would be when the laser was near my eyes. The light was so intense that I saw it with the tiny goggles on and my eyes closed. It made me think of tiny blasters being fired at my face or teeny white light sabers being stroked across my skin. There were areas where it hurt enough to make me flinch and a stench of burnt hair wafted in the air. The entire procedure probably took less than 10 or 15 minutes. Afterward, she applied SPF50 sunscreen and handed me an ice pack to use later. It was expensive, over $200, and I left with my cheeks feeling puffy and hot. I also wanted to hide my face immediately from the sun and from people so I walked into the surf shop below and purchased a fabulous summer hat. Retail therapy helped numb the pain.

Here is my hat:

The hat looked JLO fabulous and allowed me to hide from both the sun and people.

When I got home, the pain had subsided but my daughter said, “What happened to your face???” This is what I looked like immediately after my IPL Photofacial on Day One:

Sorry if the photos are a bit gross. I decided to take my daughter to a movie that afternoon, we saw “Captain America” and I also elected to go out to a Bon Voyage party for one of my hula sisters. The crowd would be mostly my hula ohana at a locally owned Thai restaurant that has karaoke. I figured that I could spackle some foundation on my face and apply some natural eye make-up and go without much fuss. Thankfully, the restaurant was not lit very hot and I felt fine, not self conscious at all.

Day Two was Saturday morning and I looked outside to see cloud cover and cooler temps, about 63 degrees. I slathered on two layers of SPF50, layered my paddling gear (sports bra, tank top, short sleeves and a long-sleeved jersey on top) to brave the outdoors. Practice would be 10 or 12 miles on the open ocean towards the R-10 bouy. This is what my face looked like on Day Two:

I didn’t tell anyone on my team that I had an IPL the day before and only one friend asked about my awful looking face, I know she’s one of my besties because she asked. Honestly, I did feel a bit self-conscious and uncomfortable so I wasn’t as talkative as usual. However, it was my first outrigger canoeing practice of the season so I chalked it up to trying to remember how to paddle at all. I usually stroke the canoe, which means I set the pace by sitting in Seat One, but that felt like the worst piece I paddled all day. Interestingly enough, I enjoyed steering the most yesterday. In fact, I actually kept the canoe running straight and on course. Boom for Pi’i. After practice, I went to lunch with my bestie to catch up on life…vacation, my new boyfriend, work drama, her dating, etc. We had a leisurely lunch together, filled with laughter & gossip. Afterward, I went home to shower and take a nap. That evening I decided to stay home and relax. I needed sleep and lots of water. And, of course, I needed some time to talk to my boyfriend. He and I are in a long-distance relationship so phone calls are very important to us.

Day Three, I went to yoga with a face full of foundation and my hair pulled back in a headband but not off my face. That felt weird. Usually, I have my hair up in a ballerina bun to stay off of my face. But it felt very nice to stretch and breathe and relax this morning. My face looked like this:

I will leave this blog post for the time being. Next week I will continue with my opinions on the IPL photo facial and whether I will continue with this strategy. The battle against aging skin may prove futile and I may need to stick to clean eating, regular exercise and laughing loudly every day. Even if I start looking “my age”, at least I will feel good and be happy. That’s the real way to win this war.

19 Ideas for a Happy Life – What’s your #20?

keeping it simple this week…

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Believe in love at first sight.
3. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
4. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
5. Keep your heart healthy with exercise and by surrounding yourself with love.
6. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
7. Marry the person you love to talk to about everything and nothing.
8. A loving atmosphere in your home is important.  Do all you can to create a tranquil, harmonious home.
9. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation.  Don’t bring up the past.
10. Spend some time alone.
11. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
12. Share your knowledge.  It’s a way to achieve immortality.
13. Be gentle with the earth.
14. When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
15. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
16. Mind your own business.
17. Don’t trust a person who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.
18. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
20. …