How Brown Gets Down 2nd Kyu Karate

  
(I never know where my blog postings are going to go.  I wanted to write about my brown belt test and instead thoughts of my two divorces pounded out on my keyboard.  The idea of having two failed marriages sounds a bit humiliating but you know what, it is a part of my life story and I am ok sharing it.  I am definitely not the same person I was 20 years ago when I started karate, fourteen years ago when I got married the first time, or even two years ago when I went back to my martial arts training at Togisala Shorin Ryu.)

December 6, 2015

Today, I passed a test.  It wasn’t a test written on paper.  It wasn’t a compliance eLearning module from work.  And I certainly have no need to take a pregnancy test.  The test I passed consisted of challenging physical exercises, open hand kata, weapons kata, and sparring against two dudes at once.  At my vintage age of 45, I went through a grueling physical challenge to earn my 2nd kyu rank in Shorin Ryu karate, better known by lay people as a brown belt.

You might ask why an old lady like me would want to train in martial arts. My dojo classmates are between the ages of 6 and 35.  I am fairly certain I am the oldest colored belt ranked student on the dojo floor.  Even my Sensei is a year younger than me.  I started training in my 20s, I worked out diligently for a few years, four days a week.  But when birth control failed and I found myself pregnant, I had to stop training.   Unfortunately, even though I was about to test for my green belt, Sensei Rabago had me stop at purple because it would be a huge liability for him to test me while I was hapai (pregnant).  I still trained four days a week until my belly started to show at four months, just like I played softball with my co-ed work team until I hit five months preggo.  They all yelled at me every time I ran the bases because my favorite way to slide was face first.  “Run!  Don’t slide!  Don’t slide!  Don’t’ slide!!!” they yelled at me as I turned toward second base.  Ha.  I still slid feet first for a couple of games.

So why now?  Why am I back on the dojo floor after twenty years?  Simply put, I love karate.  Lessons from my Sensei, the late Richard Rabago, gave me more tips about surviving and thriving in Corporate America as a single mom than any self-help seminar, book, or MBA could have.  Unfortunately, despite trying to go back to Rabago Shorin Ryu intermittently, raising my daughter alone and having a demanding career trumped the hobbies in my life.  While my daughter was very young, dancing in halau gave both of us a sense of ohana.  As she got older and I earned a better salary, I could afford to pay for childcare while I went to outrigger practice.  Now, she is almost out of high school and becoming more independent.  We both dance hula and I feel comfortable and confident going to the dojo three times a week to train now, without feeling guilty about doing something without my daughter.  The best part is, she gets along with the students and parents at the dojo so sometimes she comes to hang out and talk story with everyone while I practice.

Today, I sit in a very different position in life and at work.  Personally, I haven’t had much success with personal relationships, as I’m twice divorced.  Both relationships were based on strong friendships but not much romance or heat.  The first marriage ended when he decided that drinking the boys was more fun than spending time with his wife and stepdaughter.  He wasn’t going to stop drinking and I wasn’t ‘going to let him hurt me or my daughter.  I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him abuse me in any way in front of my daughter.  But he left without ever looking back so we both knew the marriage wasn’t meant to be.

In my experience, it is pretty much impossible to have a serious relationship while holding down a demanding corporate job as a single mom.  I never had a problem being asked out on a date but having a significant long lasting relationship became an elusive thing for me.  Because of the nature of my work, I am on the road about 25% of my time.  Planning dates and building a foundation of a relationship takes quality time, face to face.  The whole “free time” thing has felt like a luxury to me for most of my life.  Dating without a lot of free time doesn’t work out very well.  And, most of all, being a mother surpasses anything else in my life.

My second marriage looked perfect on paper.   Once we walked down the aisle and signed the actual papers, it all fizzled into complacency and a wonderful roommate situation.  He was neat and kept to himself.  He even bought his own groceries and laundry detergent separately from us.  Has anyone heard of a marriage like that?  Sad.  We had shared friends, and grew up with a common culture.  It should have been an easy relationship to nurture.  But he kept himself separate in so many ways, it was easy to say goodbye.

Why do I bring those failed relationships up?  I learned after my recent divorce that I needed to focus on my own happiness as an individual.  Tying my happiness to someone else or something else wasn’t going to bring lasting contentment or love.  And karate is an individual sport.  Karate taught me discipline as well as self-defense.  In my opinion, karate fueled my independence and nurtured my self-confidence.

When I started training 20 years ago, I worked out four nights a week and would  often stay late with Sensei Travis when his friends would come in to spar or work grappling or just do my kata.  I am quite certain I was in the best physical condition of my life.   I felt great.  Karate became the perfect supplement to hula and the values I learned through both reinforced all the lessons I learned from my parents and grandparents.  Family first.  Be humble.  Work hard.   Help others.  Give back.  Your actions represent your family, your halau, your dojo so act accordingly and don’t be a douchebag (ok, maybe I adjusted that last one a bit).

Sharing personal values with the values that I learned on the dojo floor made it very easy for me to train.  And, the more I studied and developed as a martial artist, the more I felt an obligation to give back.  Quite often, I would train as the only woman on the floor.  It was a rare occasion when I saw a female black belt.  Today, things are different but 20 years ago, I did not see many as many women at tournaments or teaching.

My rank test for 2^nd kyu symbolized much more than just improvement in my training and/or martial arts skills.  It brings a large obligation to my life as I learn to be an instructor.  Although Sensei Rabago always emphasized that the color of someone’s belt is less important than their integrity and commitment, the average person will make judgments on the basis of what color a karate-ka wears.  And, research shows that people base 90% of their judgments on others based on the 10% that they see.  So, to gain credibility from one glance, a black belt earns it more quickly than a colored belt.

The rank test I passed on December 6, 2015 symbolizes one tiny step in my training.  My physical condition is excellent because I had trained to run 19.3 miles over a weekend for the RunDisney Infinity Gauntlet Challenge.  My mental condition stays strong and focused.  Much of that must be related to the miles and miles of running that I invested to prepare for both the races and my belt test.  But the best part is, my spiritual condition feels grounded and secure.  And that means my body is healthy, my heart is at peace and the possibilities ahead of me are endless.

 

 

Thoughts on Running from the DiversityNerd: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, Part Three

The Bad

In my last post, I wrote about shoes and considering buying another pair for shorter runs.  This brings me to one of the “bad” things about running: shopping.  Any time one picks up a new hobby, interest, or workout, one needs the proper equipment.  At the bare minimum, this requires shopping and shopping is good and bad.  I hate running but I’ve grown to hate shopping even more these days.

I enjoy looking at new gear and the fitness industry has fantastic advertising and marketing to reach active women. But do I really need to have color coordinated socks to match every outfit I work out in?  Probably not.  And do I need to buy special laundry detergent to care for my sports bras, capris, and Drifit tops that is drastically different from what I use for my other delicates?  Not likely.  I grew up in the 80s and 90s when consumerism and designer everything was all the rage.  Buying the latest and greatest became a competition of sorts back then.  Labels were important and I was sucked into the whole shopaholic movement in my youth.

Today, I continue to try to downsize the “stuff” in my house and my life. I know there are work clothes that I don’t wear hanging my bedroom closet.  I definitely have dozens of shoes that I used to wear when I was clubbing three nights a week that just sit on shelves in my guestroom closet.  They rest in their clear plastic Container Store boxes, waiting for me to slip my feet into them and go shake my okole on some dancefloor.  I’m over 40 now and although dancing is still fun, the dudes in the club are now young enough to be my children.  I’m trying to shake off my Cougar status and do not need to pick up Pedophile status.

And who has time to shop these days? Not Pi’ilani.  I am on the road two weeks out of the month traveling to different time zones.  That time suck means I have to be very conscientious about budgeting my time and is the second “bad” thing about running.  My daughter, her life, and her school work come first.  I’ve put my physical health higher on the list since the announcement about my company moving to Texas hit.  If not, I would probably be super stressed out and fifteen pounds heavier.  Of course, I still need to manage the house:  cooking, laundry, cleaning.  Even with a housekeeper coming in twice a month, there is the usual maintenance that needs to happen at home.  Kanoe is a great help but there is always something to clean up in and around the house.  And my hobbies have suffered.  Being on the road means my days available for paddling were slashed this season and once I got injured, I was two months behind my teammates in terms of conditioning and practice.  Time suck.  Work travel usually falls from Tuesdays to Thursdays, which means I miss karate on Tuesdays, paddling and hula on Wednesdays and get home around 11:00pm on Thursdays.  Time suck.  Fridays I spend back in the office so on Friday nights I’m jetlagged and cranky.  I don’t even have time to shop on-line because I’m just tired.  So damn tired.

Maybe I don’t really hate running? Running while on the road is the easiest type of exercise for me.  Sometimes hotel gyms look more like closets so there isn’t really space to dance or do kata.  I try to make time to run at least once when I am on a business trip.  But I can’t carve out time to shop on the road.  When I do, I wind up with more Urban Decay make-up and not with practical things I actually need.

A third “bad” thing about running is the amount of water I use to do laundry and take showers. I have a separate laundry basket for my workout attire that needs to be thrown in the washer at least once a week.  That doesn’t even include the everyday clothing that my daughter and I use.  I feel like I am not helping with the conservation of water in California by keeping my gear clean.  However, I’ve run past people who have stinky running clothes on and I was just working out by a woman in the Machida Karate seminar whose gi was offensively stank.  So let me remind myself of that nasty fact every time I wash clothes from here on out.

The Ugly

The list of “uglies” that I experience from running is brief and hopefully easy for me to describe. First and foremost, I worry about my knees.  I grew up playing tennis, basketball, baseball/softball, and volleyball.  All of these sports demand explosive movements that put demands on one’s knees.  I remember talking to my college tennis and volleyball coaches about their knee surgeries to repair damage from wear tear usage.  When I transferred to UCLA, I added hula and then karate to my list of activities.  Both of these arts demand strong, low to the ground stances.  In hula kahiko, it was once believed that your energy comes from the Earth so you need to dance low to the ground to pull that mana into your movements.

As I began training for the Infinity Gauntlet Challenge, I reminded myself to wear my patella/knee band for protection from injury. If I thought it would help to run with ti leaf in my sports bra, I would do that too.  I wore bands on each knee for any run over four miles and avoided injury over the last three months of training.  (Knock on wood).  The crazy thing is, my knee used to hurt more from paddling than it ever did from running, maybe I need to rock the patella band if I ever make it back to six-man training on the water.

The second “ugly” about running is me. The time suck means I have no time for manicures, pedicures, haircuts, or eyebrow waxing.  Usually it doesn’t matter that much since I’m not dating or going out dancing all the time anymore.  So the people who I spend time could care less if I have naked nails or caterpillar eyebrows.  But when I go to work conferences and reach out to network with people, I admit that I notice when people are well-coiffed and have nice, neat nails.  Thankfully I have all that Urban Decay make-up I buy during moments of on-line shopping weakness so my lipstick and eye make-up looks polished.  But my nails sure look ugly when they are just short and naked.  The least I should do is toss some clear coat or sheer pink on them before I travel to avoid the basic ugly hand syndrome I’ve been suffering from this year.

A third and final “ugly” is pain. I anticipated being in so much pain after running more than19.3 miles last weekend that I took Monday off and scheduled a massage for myself.  However, other than being sleepy, I felt great.  My body didn’t hurt much and even my feet were fine.  No blisters or lost toenails to speak of this time.  But there are stories out there of runners who have toenails that turn black and eventually fall off of their feet.  That sounds so ugly and painful to me.

Pain does hit me during the act of running, which is a valid reason for hating the act of running. Around mile five or after about 45 minutes, the tiniest bit of pain is exacerbated and exaggerated in my head. I think that happens because I get bored when I run and I hyper-focus my attention on the pain.  That is the mental challenge of running that I am still working on.  And of course, I figured out a way to injure my elbow while running.  How frickin’ creative of me, right?

Truth be told, my elbow injury was probably the result of paddling, running and learning how to use my sai all during the month of June. That is a lot of wear and tear to put on one joint in an old lady’s body.  My elbow developed swelling and pain that was not alleviated through weeks of the usual physical therapy with my sports medicine doctor.  The only way I found relief was through acupuncture and a damn cortisone shot.  I felt so much intense pain that I couldn’t go to work.  The injury occurred in my right arm and that just sucked.  But to not be able to take a trip to see my long distance boyfriend blew donkey nuts.  Missing out on that trip made me angry and it was a big “ugly” to experience.  I hate injuries.  Sitting still isn’t easy for me.  I needed to ice and rest my elbow but all I wanted to do was cry because it was so hard to take care of stuff while I was injured.  That is pretty ugly, too.

Despite the “bad” and “ugly” of running, I really enjoy the racing. RunDisney events are unique because they attract Disney fanatics who run, rather than running fanatics who are pushing for PRs.  And each RunDisney race has a theme so some competitors take as much time preparing their costumes as take in training to actually run.

I hadn’t submitted a half marathon time to the race coordinators so I was placed in the last corral with runner who had a 15 or 16 minute/mile pace. Since my goal for my race pace was 12:30/mile this race, I felt I would be able to break off from the back of the pack fairly easily.  But being with the folks who were really doing the race just for fun gave me a new appreciation for fitness and health.  Waiting for an hour in our corral before we were even close to the start line, I met a few people and chatted a bit.  One woman had just turned 50 and was doing her first half marathon.  We had fun talking about being moms and taking time out for our health now that our kids had grown up a bit.  Another woman, who was probably in her late 20s, signed up for the race with her husband.  He submitted his time and was in corral B and didn’t bother to come back to the last corral to start with his wifey.  (I raised my eyebrow at that comment.)  She laughed it off and said she would see him later.  They had travelled from the East Coast so 52 degrees didn’t feel particularly cold to her.  It felt nice to chat with people before the start of the race and it helped me to pass the time without growing more and more nervous.

Once we got to the start line, I put on my headphones, started my “Avengers” playlist, and started to jog to get out of the crowd It took me a half mile or so before I could actually hit full stride and run.  For my first mile, I went too fast, I was running at 10:40 min/mile.  I hadn’t trained for long distances at that pace so I slowed myself down.  It took me almost two miles before I felt warm enough to throw away my zip up hoodie that I wore to stay warm before the race.  Two miles later, I took off my long-sleeved dark green pseudo She Hulk skin and ran in my tank top.  The course only spent two miles inside the parks and the entertainment along the route was mostly high school cheerleaders and marching bands so it wasn’t much of a distraction.   At each water station, I grabbed a cup of both water and PowerAde to stay hydrated and said, “Thank you” to the race volunteers. I didn’t realize it until we made the seven mile turn towards Angels Stadium that I was running my pace very comfortably.  Maybe I don’t hate running after all?

Between mile seven and Angels Stadium, the course turned into a single lane dusty horse trail so it became impossible to run that section. And, there was a huge cosplay group that stationed themselves there, wearing full Avengers costumes so participants slowed down for photo ops and such, some signaled by raising their hand but not everyone respected that etiquette.  I saw a couple of runners stop short and I even ran smack into one woman.  She received my apology in the wind.  In addition to the cool cosplayers and high school band, there were homeless people’s tents along the course. I didn’t see the actual residents but it was obvious that people lived under the freeway.  It made me think about the amount of money that RunDisney demands of their participants and I felt a bit sick for the homeless people.  There just wasn’t way for me to frame fairness in this picture.  It made me sad as I ran onto the Angels Stadium parking lot.

The course took us into the stadium and we were able to run the infield, which made this former tomboy baseball player smile with delight. And outside of the stadium, on my left-hand side, there was a long line of servicemen and servicewomen waiting to cheer us on and offer us high fives.  They were both active and retired and most wore their full uniforms.  I felt grateful to them for their service and I thought my grandpa who was the bravest solider I know, a Bataan death march survivor as a Philippine Scout during WWII.  Grandpa Ben brought his family to the United States as an officer in the  U.S. Army to provide them a better life than they (we) would have had in his war-torn country.  That was a boost that I needed going into mile nine, I felt pride and love for my grandfather and other Veterans in my life.

On my right, there were WWII re-enactors and a swing dance group. I felt mixed about the WWII re-enactment group because they were all white. That statement doesn’t have any other deep meaning to me because it was just a thought that popped in and out of my head at that moment.

Heading back towards Disneyland, my legs felt good, my knees were strong and I didn’t have any fear that my asthma would slow me down going into miles 10 – 13. My self-talk was, “I feel strong.  One mile at a time.  Keep your pace because you’re the shit.”  My minute per mile pace slowed to between 12:30 to 12:50 for the last four miles, which was frustrating to me.  My race pace goal was 12:30 min/mile and I felt like that goal was slipping away from me.  Rather than letting that consume my thoughts, I kept running and thought about how good it would feel to cross the line and eat some food.  Even the puny snack box breadsticks and white cheddar cheese spread sounded like a gourmet meal to me at the time.  And it worked; I crossed the finish line with no pain and received both my fancy spinning Avengers Half Marathon medal and the Infinity Gauntlet finisher medal.  My GPS read:  13.64 miles, 2:48:25 minutes, 12:21 min/mile pace, 1,714 calories burned.  BOOM.  Cross that bucket list item off my list.  Adrenaline is my drug of choice.  I may hate running but I sure do love racing.

Thoughts on Running from the DiversityNerd: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, Part Two “The Good”

First and foremost, in my opinion, the best thing about running is being more fit. Mind you, my level of fitness as an adult has never been horrible because my hobbies are all very active.  I love dancing hula and paddling outriggers and both of those activities keep me in fairly good shape.  The team bonding over food and drinks doesn’t necessarily help me stay slim, but the hula and paddling definitely keep me fit.  Running, especially on a regular training schedule, has actually changed the way my body looks and feels.  I have only lost about five pounds this year, in December 2014 the scale read 149 pounds.  Right now, I weigh 144 and the lowest the pounds dipped the summer was down to 141.  Logically, I realize that the scale should not be an indicator of health and fitness but I would love to be less than 140 lbs again.  Losing weight through stress doesn’t stick so I am back at 144 lbs.

From a fitness perspective, I enjoy feeling healthy and sleeping well. I have to attribute these two changes to running on a regular basis.  Karate leaves me exhausted but when we have class in the evenings, I have a very hard time unwinding from the adrenaline so falling asleep is not easy.  Thinking about training and preparing for a big challenge forced me to consider nutrition in a new way.  I cut back on my red wine and brown whiskey in mid-August and just lost a taste for both.  Not drinking helps my sleep and alleviated the mindless munching that goes along with experiencing a buzzed state of existence.  Eating clean and not drinking has really impacted my fitness but I am still not a runner.  I run to prepare for a race, I don’t enjoy running.

And I have to be honest, it really kills me to admit this but I like the way I look.  My body is lean and still very strong because of running and karate.  After my emergency surgery in 2001, I found myself on bed rest and couldn’t exercise for months.  During that time, I gained a lot of softness in my thighs.  That softness turned to thickness and fat.  From 2001 until now, I hated showing my thighs and stopped wearing shorts or skirts above the knee.  Body image issues consumed my thought.  The shame I felt at appearance of my thighs paralyzed me.  It was completely not healthy and I am sure it was quite unnecessary for me to hide myself in any way.  However, capris became my go to attire for paddling and hula gear.  Two weeks ago, I put on some shorts with my Toms wedges to run errands with the crew.  He told me, “I see all these people looking at you and then staring at your legs.  I mean staring at them.  You look really good.”  When I admitted that I felt embarrassed of my thighs, he couldn’t believe it.  We had a long, honest talk about it and I shared how unattractive I felt my thighs are.  It was good to finally say the words out loud and to hear feedback.  I still won’t be rocking the Daisy Duke butt-huggers during workouts but at least now I see myself a little differently.  Body-shame is a bitch.

One other good thing about running, being accountable to the training schedule gives me an honest sense of accomplishment. It never dawned on me how far I could run in just 30 minutes or how effective such a short workout feels, when done on a consistent basis.  Seeing the light at the end of the training tunnel and reading all the posts from other excited competitors on Facebook, really keeps me motivated.  I did miss my 14 mile run on Sunday because life got out of hand with work, my daughter’s homecoming, and stuff.  However, I did walk/jog/run miles on both Saturday and Sunday.  And I felt proud of myself.

Time alone on a run provides an opportunity to breathe and ponder and be the introvert who I am at my core. My role at work demands my constant attention and requires monthly travel. My daughter and I are extremely involved with hula and her schooling. All of this swirls around while I try to continue my martial arts training. Structure is important when life becomes frenetic. All of the craziness at work and the incredible amount of change takes a toll on my colleagues and on me.  This running program became an anchor or a constant in my ever-changing schedule in late summer and early Fall.  The time change occurred this past Sunday and now the evenings grow dark much earlier.  I am hopeful that preparation for my belt test in December will keep me motivated to run three times a week. In fact, I need to outline a schedule to follow between November 21 and December 6 to get me to my belt test and then find another program to get me to the Surf City Half Marathon on Superbowl Sunday 2016.  After that, all bets are off for me running another race, since I am not a runner.

A third “good” that I associate with running is not about fitness or alone time or a sense of accomplishment. I have really enjoyed shopping for running clothes.  That may seem shallow and superficial but running does require special gear.  Sports bras that I wear for hula do not provide enough support to the tatas for running.  So then I had to research which styles and brands work best for my cup size and buy them and try them.  Lesson learned, spend the money to protect the tatas.  Gravity is not friendly to a forty something year old woman running four times a week, even with lower case C cup sized breasts.

Another critical piece of equipment is the shoes one wears. For the last three years, I wore Brooks Adrenaline running shoes.  This style is very stable for fake runners who need the extra support.  My most recent running analysis put me in neutral shoes with level five cushioning.  I moved from needing stability to being neutral, I wonder if that applies to more than just my feet?  These shoes feel like heaven for my runs over 5 miles and not I am thinking that I want to get a different pair for runs that are 4 miles or less.  Am I turning into an actual runner?  No way, that wouldn’t be good, would it?

Thoughts on Running from the DiversityNerd, Part II “The Good”

First and foremost, in my opinion, the best thing about me running on a regular basis is being more fit. Mind you, my level of fitness as an adult has never been horrible because my hobbies are all very active.  I love dancing hula and paddling outriggers and both of those activities keep me in fairly good shape.  The team bonding over food and drinks doesn’t necessarily help me stay slim, but hula and paddling definitely keep me fit.  Running, especially on a regular training schedule, has actually changed the way my body looks and feels.  I have only lost about five pounds this year, in December 2014 the scale read 149 pounds.  Right now, I weigh 144 lbs. and the lowest the pounds dipped this summer was 141 lbs.  Logically, I realize that the scale should not be an indicator of health and fitness but I would love to be less than 140 lbs. again.  Losing weight through stress doesn’t stick so I am back at 144 lbs.  And I am not worrying about it.  Since I’ve cut back on sugar and alcohol, I don’t worry about what I am eating between now and the race.

From a fitness perspective, I enjoy feeling healthy and sleeping well. I have to attribute these two changes to running on a regular basis.  Karate leaves me exhausted but when we have class in the evenings, I have a very hard time unwinding from the adrenaline so falling asleep is not easy.  Thinking about training and preparing for a big challenge forced me to consider nutrition in a new way.  I cut back on my red wine and brown whiskey in mid-August and just lost a taste for both.  Not drinking also helps my sleep and alleviated the mindless munching that goes along with experiencing a buzzed state of existence.  Eating clean and not drinking has really impacted my fitness but I am still not a runner.  I run to prepare for a race, I don’t enjoy running.

And I have to be honest, it kills me to admit this but I like the way I look (not a very humble Asian thing to admit).  My body is lean and still very strong because of running and karate.  After my emergency surgery in 2001, I found myself on bed rest and couldn’t exercise for months.  During that time, I gained a lot of softness in my thighs.  That softness turned to thickness and fat.  From 2001 until now, I hated showing my thighs and stopped wearing shorts or skirts above the knee.  Body image issues consumed my thought.  The shame I felt at appearance of my thighs paralyzed me.  It was completely not healthy and I am sure it was quite unnecessary for me to hide myself in any way.  However, capris became my go to attire for paddling and hula gear.  Two weeks ago, I put on some shorts with my Toms wedges to run errands with the crew.  He told me, “I see all these people looking at you and then staring at your legs.  I mean staring at them.  You look really good.”  When I admitted that I felt embarrassed of my thighs, he couldn’t believe it.  We had a long, honest talk about it and I shared how unattractive I felt my thighs are.  It was good to finally say the words out loud and to hear feedback.  I still won’t be rocking the Daisy Duke butt-huggers during workouts but at least now I see myself a little differently.  Body-shame is a bitch.

One other good thing about running is being accountable to the training schedule. That accountability gives me an honest sense of accomplishment.  It never dawned on me how far I could run in just 30 minutes or how effective such a short workout feels, when done on a consistent basis.  Seeing the light at the end of the training tunnel and reading all the posts from other excited competitors on Facebook really keeps me motivated.  I did miss my 14 mile run on Sunday because life got out of hand with work, my daughter’s homecoming, and other stuff.  However, I walked/jogged/ran my miles on both Saturday and Sunday.  And I felt proud of myself.

Time alone on a run provides an opportunity to breathe and ponder and be the introvert that I am at my core. My day to day work life is filled with meetings and questions and problems to solve.  And my personal time is consumed, as well.  The good thing is, I love my life.  My daughter is continuing to work hard and I see her maturing every day.  Karate and hula surround me with so much love and people who are dedicated to learning and growing.  They are my ohana, if not by blood, then definitely by sweat.  But being alone is a luxury now.  And I need that time to rejuvenate myself.  Sometimes I create alone time by not smiling and being quiet and people freak the fuck out around me.  If I go off in my own world for a few minutes they ask if I am ok or what’s wrong or am I mad and I come back to look at them and say, “Huh?  I am fine.”  So goes the life of an introvert who is surrounded by so many extroverts.  I know I am blessed to have so many people who care and for that, I remain grateful.

Structure is important when life becomes frenetic. All of the craziness at work and the incredible amount of change takes a toll on my colleagues and on me.  This training program became an anchor or a constant in my ever-changing schedule in late summer and early Fall.  The time change occurred this past Sunday and now the evenings grow dark much earlier.  I am hopeful that preparation for my belt test in December will keep me motivated to run three times a week. In fact, I need to outline a schedule to follow between November 21 and December 6 to get me to my belt test and then find another program to get me to the Surf City Half Marathon on SuperBowl Sunday 2016.  After that, all bets are off for me running another race, since I am not a runner.

A third “good” that I associate with running is not about fitness or alone time or a sense of accomplishment. I have really enjoyed shopping for running clothes.  That may seem shallow and superficial but running does require special gear.  Sports bras that I wear for hula do not provide enough support to the tatas for running.  So then I had to research which styles and brands work best for my cup size and buy them and try them.  Lesson learned, spend the money to protect the tatas.  Gravity is not friendly to a forty something year old woman running four times a week, even with lower case C cup sized breasts.

Another critical piece of equipment is the shoes one wears. For the last three years, I wore Brooks Adrenaline running shoes.  This style is very stable for fake runners who need the extra support.  My most recent running analysis put me in neutral shoes with level five cushioning.  I moved from needing stability to being neutral, I wonder if that applies to more than just my feet?  These shoes feel like heaven for my runs over 5 miles and not I am thinking that I want to get a different pair for runs that are 4 miles or less.  Am I turning into an actual runner?  No way, that wouldn’t be good, would it?

Thoughts on Running from the DiversityNerd: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Part One

Let me open this blog posting with a simple statement: I HATE RUNNING. And follow it up with, I AM NOT A RUNNER. Back in elementary school, we had to do the annual Presidential Physical Fitness Award test.  The test consisted of a softball throw, the long jump, sit-ups, pull-ups for boys or a flexed armed hang for girls (this tomboy elected to knock out the pull-ups because I believed boys and girls should be equal and I was a much better athlete than most of the boys in my school), a timed shuttle run that tested speed and agility and the dreaded longer run.  I remember that as a timed run/walk where progress was measured based on how many orange cones we ran by over a set time period but how long was it?  Was it twelve minutes long?  Was it six minutes long?  My friends responded to my Facebook post and confirmed that they remember the run as only six minutes long. The same amount of time that a love song is remixed to become a dance hit, six minutes, that is all it was? The six-minute run was the bane of my 8 year old existence. Just the thought of having to run around in a circle made me anxious.

For all the other challenges, in the test, I had no problems. I killed the agility test, softball throw and long jump because of all the tennis, basketball and baseball I played. Sit-ups and pull-ups were a breeze because of gymnastics. But that damn run! I used my asthma as an excuse to try to get out of doing it. And my teachers calmly replied that if I didn’t complete it, I would no earn the coveted Presidential patch. Ugh. I did. I knew exactly how many cones I needed to pass and pass them I did. But I hate running.

 These less than fond memories came to mind as I realized how long it has been since I posted anything on this blog. My last post was on August 30, 2015, about nine weeks ago, what a shame. When I started blogging, I wanted to post something on a regular basis to write down whatever my nerdy brain was processing. It would be good for me to try to write again since currently, all I spend my time writing are communications on diversity and inclusion. Not the sexiest subject to tackle.

In addition, I’ve been following a training regimen for the last sixteen weeks called the “Infinity Gauntlet Challenge Training Program: with the goal being to finish a 10K on November 14 and a half marathon on November 15. That is 19.3 miles in one weekend. This program comes from the official runDisney training consultant,. Jeff Galloway. I’ve forgotten that my Saturday walks are supposed to be slow paced walks to leave energy to complete a long Sunday run. And, he recommends keeping our pace at least two minutes slower than our race pace. I can’t even follow a runDisney training program properly! No way am I a runner.

The training overview outlines a very straight forward program. Three weekly runs for the first seven weeks, then every even week afterward you add Saturday long walk (which I have been jogging/running) and a Sunday long run at a slow pace. Of course, I go to both karate and hula on Friday nights and karate on Sundays so free time is not a luxury I have anymore. My running ability is improving but I am still not a runner.

So these upcoming blog postings will be my thoughts on running from a person who hates running.  (I have completed two 5Ks, two 10Ks, and seven or eight half marathons and I am not a runner.)  My thoughts will outline the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of training for a runDisney challenge.  The discipline of staying committed to the program is teaching me a lot, so why not write it down?  More to come…